Reviews of our adventures.........

Carling Academy, Newcastle - 31st March 2008

Slightlymuddy and I boarded our private Lear jet at Wark International airport and headed for our secret landing strip on Westgate road. In my fecking dreams! I toured Newcastle City centre for 25 minutes, looking for a parking place for the hillbilly-hotrod. When I got into the Academy, Slightlymuddy had already had six pints and two fights. I eventually found her, because she was standing with some really cool people. Just after that, we found all the people from this forum and looked for the best place to appreciate the Dorty South from. The bouncers wouldn't let us go outside with our drinks, so we stayed inside to listen to the band instead. Mr. Gilroy meandered over and we discussed the wisdom of laying a thin hardwood veneer floor on a concrete base. This, as it turned out, did not prove to be an issue. Much to my relief. I also spoke to Captain Jock, who accused me of spoiling his underpants. This is simply not true, as I only took them to the pictures and then to Burger King. Hardly spoiling them, in my opinion.

A short while later, four fat blokes, a pikey and a small child were helped onto the stage. They looked like they'd covered themselves in glue and run through an Oxfam shop, god help us. The bouncers were about to turf them out, when they suddenly produced musical instruments, alerting the security staff to the fact that they were supposed to be there.

Doc Brown had cunningly arranged it, so that we couldn't go outside for a tab, so we stayed and watched the whole set!

A change in their alcohol policy meant that they all remained upright, for all of the set, which proved to be both unexpected and refreshing.

A recent addition to The Dirty South is Elrond Fortesque-Fitzsimmonds III, the fourteen year old drumming-prodigy. The only survivor of a plane-crash in the Bolivian jungle, Elrond was raised by parakeets amongst the soaring branches of the Bolivian rain forest, before being rescued and subsequently adopted by the Dirty South, who'd taken a wrong turning at the Moorhouse Farm roundabout. Now housetrained and able to speak simple sentences, Elrond looked right at home behind the drumkit. Not surprising really, as the drumkit is his home. I said the Dirty South adopted him, I didn't say they were nice to him. Anyway, he thrashed the drumkit like a stolen moped, his arms a whirling maelstrom of simmering teenage sexual frustration. A stunning drum-solo earned him a resounding round of applause and a twenty-pence mix-up.

Doc Brown was looking sprightly as he warbled some tunes and had clearly lost some weight recently. Anyone who went into the toilet within half an hour of him can testify to that. Shortly into the set, the Doc began fumbling around in his jeans and pulled out a tiny instrument. Anyone who puts that in their mouth has my admiration, as it must take a serious amount of skill and concentration to get any joy from something that small. The Doc however, has clearly been playing with it for years and despite it looking a bit battered, he wowed the audience with his versatility. Well done that man!

The pikey on the bass, The Rev. J.J. Jackson, kept his sunglasses on throughout the show, a wise move following his recent appearance on Crimewatch. Seamlessly seamless, his geetar playing was without seams, despite it only having four strings.

Big Brad Stanton, Deputy Hedge and Earl Grey all played proper guitars. I have no idea how to play a guitar, so i'll not go into any further detail. A wooden-bodied instrument, a guitar is powered by a small two-stroke motor housed in the main body. A drive shaft transfers the drive up the neck of the guitar via a bevel gear, to the main bearing on the head. That's as much as I know, except that some of them are very valuable, fetching up to £50 at Cash Converters.

All in all, the Dorty South played a splendid set and impressed me so much that I was moved to buy a Big Issue off Doc Brown and some lucky heather off the Rev. Money well spent in my opinion.

Sometime thereafter, Hayseed Dixie came on stage with some funny-shaped guitars and got pissed. They were very good, however even more entertaining was the incredibly drunk middle-aged bloke six feet in front of me, who danced, staggered and spilled his beer with reckless abandon to every song. He even, get this, he even waved his lighter above his head during 'poop in a jar'. At this juncture, I looked at Veece on my left, who pointed to the drunkenly-jigging buffon. I made a gesture with my hand. He nodded in agreement.

To sum up the evening, The Dirty South were great and stole the show and are a great bunch. Hayseed Dixie were very good. The toilets were a bit whiffy. The flooring was adequate and utilitarian. Best of all, me truck still had it's wheels on when we left!

Uncle Andy.

Washin'ton FC, 18th August 2007

When you first see them you’d think it was country music night with their leather waistcoats and cowboy hats. When Nige first saw them in all their regalia, it took me all my strength to stop him heading for the exit!!

The band plays tunes by bands such as Molly Hatchet, CCR, Steve Earle, Georgia Satellites, Blackfoot, Lynyrd Skynyrd,JJ Cale, ZZ Top, Robert Johnson, George Thorogood; and Dirty South do them all with confidence and professionalism.

The band consists of six tobacco splitting rednecks,
leading the motley crew Doc Brown (vocals and multitudinous harmonicas) who had loads of confidence and gave us an insight on how to work an audience with a walkabout amongst the crowd.

Waylon Hedge and Big Brad Stanton both (Guitars) very tight and timely rhythm section with some heckling in the background as backing vocalists. Earl T Clayton also Guitar, Rev JJ Jackson (Bass) a cool player gets on without a fuss strutting his stuff with a solid sound and never in one place for more than a minute. Bodean Cornhauler (Drums) played superbly and turned in a nice powerful sound to keep everything well paced.

All these lads make the use of the southern redneck whisky-drinking, tobbaco-chewing, womanising image without cutting down on the fun of being in a niche band.

Anyway, the band have fun; they look good; they sound good and they play tracks that no other band does. All in all great entertainment. Definitely recommended. And the most important thing of all - you can tell that every single one of them are thoroughly enjoying themselves. And in my book that is reason enough for going to see them.

Val (from Riffs Online - www.riffs.info)

FUGGLES - BEDLIN'TON - 26th MAY 2007

"Despite torrential rain, our wagon-train ventured deep into injun territory (Bedlington) for a barn-raisin' with the good ol' boys of Dirty South. There weren't too many around the camp-fire, but they made enough racket to keep the coyotes at bay. The boys opened with a thundering version of Copperhead Road & followed up with Gimme 3 steps, Whiskey Rock & Roller.......ending the first set with Fool for your Stockings. A couple of shots of moonshine later, they opened the second set with Train, Train (the local rednecks providing the 'whoo whoo's), Gimme Back my Bullets, Beer Drinkers & Hell Raisers (appropriate!)......then a stranger rode into town, relieved Earl T Clayton of his axe, & joined the boys in 'Flirting With Disaster' (turned out to be KenBlitzkrieg in disguise - no pink hat, so he went unrecognised!) Oo was he GOOD - & not even a LITTLE bit metaaaal! A couple of numbers later, the stranger relieved Big Brad of his plank & helped out on Tush......then rode off into the night! Great night of music, walkabouts (Earl was somewhat restricted, as his remote has been captured by bandits in Crook), & moonshine - no doubt some will be suffering today, won't you, Blind Dog?
If these lads mosey into your town, say hi, give them some vittals & moonshine, & they'll entertain you - handsomely!" ~ Sue